Wednesday, November 10, 2010

A bottle of Red......frustration of midwifery;

I had a bottle of red...with my husband, I am trusting him to proof read this blog as I feel positively tipsy ; I have had a bad day....a meeting from hell ego’s present in the room; I feel disempowered in my current position... people not being honest with their intentions.... all it takes is open honest discussion; and a colleague received some bad news that is really unfair.... why does life have to be so unfair; I really feel that we as a profession get the rough end of the stick.....I pride myself on integrity and honesty... I get so frustrated with women who do not stand up for women’s rights (but I guess this is dependent on your point of view) and maybe everyone thinks their point of view is truly is a man’s world and when we get women in power they seem to think the most important thing is to be accepted by men...that means playing by the man’s rule..... I am really feeling for a colleague of mine who I have grown to know on a intimate basis and trust her judgement and skill as a midwife I am really saddened that situation has not worked out for her as I had hoped and with my knowledge and expertise I have not been able to help her and for that I am truly sorry. All I have to say is as long as midwives are not protected by law we are open to the rules of nurses and we are very different.

Midwives need legislation to protect them to truly ‘be with woman’. Managers who are managing midwives need to be a midwife to really understand the issues that midwives face.... ideally they also need to understand what homebirth is about and the reality of choices women make at a homebirth; this problem highlights that nurses do not understand the autonomy and bond midwives have with women....... I guess a bottle of red will allow you to say almost anything I am distressed for my colleague that life has turned out this way... and even after a bottle of red it doesn’t stop the pain of what she is feeling... and there for the Grace of God go I..... here I am about to embark on a huge adventure for women and midwifery and I wonder if it is all worthwhile, because in one instant it can all be gone...we work so hard as a midwife to advocate for facilitate their choice.... but alas in Australia there is no protection for the midwife if things go wrong...and yes babies do die.. ..often despite our best efforts and for reasons beyond our control...errors are made because we are human but they are made every day in a hospital and babies die in hospital .....that is the process of life... we do our best to reduce the errors or mistakes;

We know that we are medically dominated that it is really unacceptable....however for this to needs women to stand up and be counted... if you want the birth you want then you need to say so.... stand up and tell the medical profession this is what you want.... it is only in women’s voices will you be heard and midwives can then facilitate what you want; women have the only have to say....

As for my colleague I am sorry.... you have to fight to the end degree... ..For what you believe in.... as for me...I will strive to be the best I can... I am thankful for my family that supports me...even though it takes so much time away from them and to my friends...thank you for keeping me on the straight and narrow... I have to learn to stop wearing my heart on my sleeve...feeling the pain of others: Also take more time out from all these pressures;

....I will continue to do the greater good for women and midwifery.... the end result is a Midwives Act to support the choice of women and protect the midwife.....well the bottle of red is finished my husband my lovely husband has stopped me from the second bottle.... wow he is wondering what has hit him........ I have to say drinking does not solve any problems but hell, I sure felt good for a short while;

It is the next day; I have substantially edited this blog... and am very thankful I did not post it last night.....surprisingly I did not sleep well, my liver was objecting to the alcoholic abuse it received; Today I have drunk a litre of water with two paracetamol. I have to say that this is a rare occurrence drinking a bottle of wine, usually it is only a glass or two on the weekend.

I am reflective and still wondering how to take this issue further; and my husband cannot stop laughing at me:

A new day begins and the journey continues;


Anonymous said...

You have spoken for all of us who feel for this great midwife and friend. It is a really sad time for midwifery. Absolutley disgusting.

For a person who is about to join the profession, I could not feel more demoralised or unprotected.

Sarah Stewart said... I am wondering what I am letting myself in for...starting work as a midwifery educator in Australia.

BTW, hope the hangover is well and truly gone

PS: nearly wet myself reading this...I have tweeted when I was drunk but never blogged LOL

Anonymous said...

Totally unjust! I am devastated that a true midwife can be unrecognised and disregarded by the system. I am also concerned for our midwifery future. We are rushing to become recognised by the 'system'. Finding evidence to demonstrate how well we can fit with it's rules and regulations. How well we can meet it's definition of 'good practice' ie. technical skills and towing the line. How can we support women if the very essence of being 'with woman' is not recognised and is immeasurable. It needs to be women who take responsibility for their care. Women who choose their midwife and lead their own care. Women who decide what good midwifery is. Feeling pretty disheartened at the moment : (

InfoMidwife said...

thanks Sarah for your comments.... where you are working I think is a little more progressive than WA at least they have more midwifery group practices.... I do think that they are also more pro active... on the bottle of red, well no hangover... but I was thankful that I did not publish the blog whilst under the influence: thankful for my husband...I edited the next morning...LOL

InfoMidwife said...

thanks midwifethinking.... I am still devasted... and not sure about anything anymore... the one thing that i do know is that the woman needs protection in legislation to be able to make her choices and therefore the midwife will be protected to care for the woman despite her choice... until then we are all vunerable..... :(

Anonymous said...

as the person to whom this blog refers I thank those who have supported me.
The battle is not over yet - there are several stages still to go....if I can find the strength.
To all my midwifery colleagues, I hope nothing of this sort happens to you - a friend of mine often used to say that its a lucky midwife who reaches retirement without a blemish - well I managed a very long time but it was time for my luck to run out....wrong place, wrong time. Could have happenened to anyone and would not have been dealt with in such a hideous way in most other situations.
I hope that you all continue the fight for what we believe in. For myself at the moment I feel that there is no fight left in me except for that which I have to do. And I will do all in my power to help save others from this fate.

Save Homebirth

Home Birth Australia